Simple Solutions for Complex Challenges

I have three sons. They are great but exasperating at times. What’s new?

I was working the night shift and my three sons were just out of high school basically flipping burgers and bumming around.

One night, as I was getting ready for work, my three sons stagger in flopping over each other. We were in a 3 story town house and I’m at the top of the stairs as they roll in on the first landing,

My youngest one says, “Busted”! I look down and tell them to please come up to the dining room and sit down. They were really drunk! I told them I’ll start making coffee so you can try to sober up.

The youngest says, “You are not going to yell at us?” I say no. What can I say to make you feel better or to try and to stop you in the future? But I would suggest you three to get it together before your mother comes home. That was more of a scare than me yelling. My father always said that when we got into trouble.

The next day or so I sat them all down at that table and told them that flipping burgers and getting drunk is no life. I asked, “Don’t you want to do anything better with your lives than just what you are doing now?” No answers.

I said you have 2 choices to make now:

  • Go to college and I’ll pay for it or
  • Go into the military; get a specialty like I did.

They opted for the Navy. I am an Army man but that was good.

Here’s the getting it right for all of us involved:

  • One of the twins made the Navy a 20 year career and retired. He has 4 kids and a wonderful wife. He is going back to college for a bachelors and masters. He is a certified ASL interpreter.
  • The other twin got some more education and is a very successful maintenance manager at a large company. He has 4 sons and a wonderful wife. One is in college and one about to go to college.
  • My third son is a certified database manager who wrote the Oracle test manual so others can become certified and now runs an IT department of a large company. He has 5 kids and a wonderful wife. One about to go to college.


They all finally got it together and getting it right. My father, the cab driver and house painter was street smart with only a high school diploma. He knew to treat me and my brother as adults. I now hold several degrees as does my bother. My father was a great man and I didn’t have the chance to tell him that long before he passed.

For me, I must have got it right because it worked! But it worked because I didn’t yell, scream and stamp me feet. They were young adults and I treated then like adults. But I did put my foot down. Tough Love works went done properly.

It was a matter of mutual respect, love and caring. The bottom line is each come back to me for advice and assistance with their kids and have apologized for what they put me and their mother through which I told them that’s part of life’s learning. That’s Getting it Right!


My bio:

Dr. Fred (DocFred) Simkovsky is the founder and owner of and Visions of Success Talk Radio Show, a 3 time, 5 star hit reaching over 4.7 million weekly listeners in 157 countries, and an Emily award winning host, a certified master life and career coach with over 45+ years of experience in multi-disciplinary environments both nationally and internationally in the USA, Canada, Germany, Japan, India, and China. DocFred has successfully guided over 1,000 individuals, at all levels, to their Visions of Success in the last 18 years alone. Read more on this subject in “Go Ask Your Dad” that you can get from Amazon in book or Kindle form.


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